It's always so long between blog posts. I'll do better, one day. I promise.
One of the primary reasons I signed up for my own website was so I would have a place to reflect, to muse and to put stuff. One of the main things I wanted to do was to go through my vast photographic archives and pick out things that stood out, and put them here on my website. This website was less about advertising myself, or putting specific commercially driven work up, and more about me talking to myself about my work and convincing myself of it's merit, or pushing myself to have it exist somewhere other than on my hard drive, or in my boxes. I have had a long period of disillusionment about myself and my work and this is part of trying to work through it, and figure out a few things about what being an artist / photographer means to me. Part of my problem is self doubt. That sounds pitiful. Let me rephrase that, basically I wanted a place that could hold all the parts of me I extracted while digging in the past, as well as house new work should and if I did it. And if people came to peruse, or to read along, awesome. If not, well I would still be enjoying myself in my little corner of the internet that I carved out and claimed. (And paid for may I add!)
Well, in true me fashion, I have been glacial in my pace to fulfil this task, and there have been long pauses and lulls, and not a lot of reflecting. I am hoping this will change as I get better at making time for my creative processes, and hopefully I will be seen more often, lurking here in my corner of the internet.
Here's how I see it going... I trawl my archives, find something of merit or interest, put it up here, and then I ramble. Woo hoo.
Let's start the archive diggings off with an image from circa 2006/2007 when I was a student at The Photoschool
I loved studying at The Photoschool. It was at a time where we sat on the cusp of the true digital age of photography, well in my opinion, in my tiny realm. Most of the course we did using film or transparency and it was only towards the end of the year long programme that I got my first ever digital camera. We were on the edge, about to tip into the world we live in now, where everyone is a photographer of sorts at all hours at all times because their camera exists in their pocket and using it is like breathing. Our image saturated world became an image saturated world on roids, and I wonder what it did to the craft of photography. Back then it still was feasibly a bit of a guilded craft, still the realm of the professional. Now.... all the meanings have changed, the context has changed and what it means to be a photographer has changed, how we produce it, share it, how it exists. Inevitable, change is always inevitable and it's best to hold on for the ride and keep your eyes peeled, and then find where you fit. Finding where I fit is something I have been exploring and struggling with, but not in a bad way, just in a way which means when I finally figure it out wherever I fall in the kingdom it will be comfortable, a good fit, because I took so long thinking about it.
This image was taken at home, my family home where my mother and some of my siblings still live, a place I have lived many times on and off. I remember the light, the deep orange of a setting sun. The windows of this room face west and if you hit it right, right weather, right time of year, right angle of the sun, this is what you were rewarded with, a density and richness of light so pungent and thick, warm, the deepest point of the goldenest of golden hours. The scan doesn't do the colour justice, our monitors probably won't the transparency film did though, it did a beautiful job. I can't remember what type of film transparency we shot, hell I might even be spelling transparency wrong. I love film. I love shooting film, it is how I learnt photography and while I love digital now too, and my iPhone photography, there is a slight disconnect in comparison to the deep love I have for the analogue. I shot this my Canon film camera, can't remember the model. I can't remember the settings but I know I would have metered the light manually using my hand method that was taught to me as a 13 year old and has served me well ever since. Like a dinosaur I often use it with my digital camera, even though they have pretty spot on light metering systems. My dad gave me my camera, when I was 11 or 12, seeing my burgeoning interest in photography he made sure the fire was fed and I had the equipment needed. Thanks dad. The model is my sister, long suffering Maria who to this day is often my model. I just remember seeing the light hitting the lounge wall and knowing it was good light, and calling for her to come. It all starts with the light, photography is capturing the light. Good light is orgasmic and so full of potential to a photographer. She dutifully posed and I snapped a few pics, one of which was the photo you see above.
Until next time.
Leala x