So I am yet to write what I intended to write all those weeks ago, which was a ramble about what it had been like to be pregnant with twins, then suddenly single, and also just what the whole twin pregnancy thing had been like. I'll write that, i'll get there. Also, I am yet to write my twin birth story and for contrast and comparison, my singleton birth story too. I'll get there, I promise.
In the mean time I thought I might as well start talking out loud (ok, writing to the internet) about general everyday life, and how things have been going so far.
Life is interesting, yet also supremely boring at the same time.
Welcome to the duality of motherhood, which probably echoes the duality of life in general. Except I tend to believe less in duality and more in multiplicity. There's less the 'this' and 'that' of duality and more the 'here's an infinite number of ways of being, all at the same time' of real life. I digress into rambling, as usual.
Things have been going. Life is babies and surviving with babies and remembering that I also have another child and myself to look after. I've learnt a lot and nothing. I feel someone might look at me and think, hmmmm, she must know a lot about parenting , and then I would laugh in their face and run away because I don't.
One thing I have learnt is that getting out and about, getting anywhere be it down the road in the pram or to the hospital for an appointment, it all takes a lot of effort. I only assume that I will get better and become more streamlined, but some days it feels like getting myself and the babies, and sometimes myself and the babies and my so, sometimes it feels like big circus act. I have been late for both hospital appointments last week, purely because I have not fully got the handle on how LONG everything takes. I am too optimistic with my time management and I need to fix that ASAP, because it is making me late! It takes an age to get two babies ready, I think it's mainly just the rigmarole,and the doing two of everything, and probably because I am a damn novice at it. I feel like my previous mothering might as well be discounted for a few reasons, one being that it was ages ago, and two being that having two is just really really different. I need to get better and hauling the carseats. Wrangling the double buggy into the carboot that barely fits it is the bane of my life. When I have paid for parking I am in constant fear I will take so long loading my babies into the car along with bags, prams, six year olds etc that by the time I reach the barrier arm, I will have overstayed my paid parking amount and I will be stuck. I have also realised that maybe my car is too small, once all my children and their paraphernalia is inside there's not a lot of room for hangers on, helpers or visitors.
Anyway though, this is pretty moany. To be honest, I know I will get better and my baby wrangling, and that I will find ways that will work smoothly for me. I will become practised, I will get stronger and throw that buggy around like nobodies business all while hauling two capsules. I am grateful that I have a car, that I have a pram that fits in my car, that I have my children and we are able to live safe and healthy lives close to family and full of love. I am grateful for the adventure and the journey that we are on.
Leala xxx